A few months ago, my most spirited angel had a melt down. The “almost-dropped-her-for-all-the-flailing” meltdown. She’s grown so much in this area over the past few years, but when she’s on sensory overload, you can see the tornado brewing for a few hours or days. Oh how God has grown me as I’ve waded through the waters of motherhood, and most often, it’s with this one. I took her to the back yard (it was still nice and warm here in Alabama in November and the baby was asleep), and whispered to her the parameters that she must stay in the back yard and stated the consequences if she disobeyed. She’s a stomp it out and scream at the top of her lungs releaser. I’ve shared my “scream zone” aka the garage with her the past two years. So she pushed away, ran to the swing and forcefully made it swing back and forth while screaming at the top of her lungs. I sat on the back porch, asking God for the wisdom to speak life into my girl. Asking turned to begging as I heard “I’m WORTHLESS. No one WANTS me. I’m STUPID. No one loves me. I can’t do ANYTHING…..WORTHLESS. WORTHLESS” I sobbed and BEGGED the Lord for answers. I recalled the tape of lies the Accuser would play over and over for me. To think she believed those things about herself broke me. “Those aren’t things she hears at home. Lord WHERE is the coming from?? Lord HOW do I help my baby? “My Name.” He whispered. “JESUS!”As she heard my cry, she ran to me, proclaiming how much she loved me and how sorry she was. I was able to wrap her in my arms and whisper truth into her heart. “I love you. Don’t believe the lies you hear the Devil say to you. You are smart and kind. You are worth so much to God that Jesus died for you to live in heaven with Him! He calls you beautiful, priceless, blameless, and perfect…..and at the name of Jesus, he has to leave!” Grace upon grace that was lavished on us at the cross. It’s ours for the taking EVERY single day.
That night we had the Spring at church. It’s our once-a-month instrumental worship service. My heart was overflowing with the truth God had placed before me that day. The songs that night bathed me again in His truth:
My heart will sing
no other Name
(Hillsong, Forever Reign)
The mountains shake before him
The demons run and flee
At the mention of the name
King Of Majesty
There is no power in Hell or any who can stand
Before the power and the presence of the Great I Am!
The Great I Am!
(New Life Worship, The Great I Am)
There’s a calm that covers me
When I kneel down at Your feet
It’s a place of healing
It’s a place where I find freedom. I’m gonna lift my hands
Til I can reach heaven
I’m gonna shout Your name
Til the walls come falling down
I’ve come to worship
(Highlands Worship- Place of Freedom)
Songs proclaiming His name and His power. He reminded me when he told Moses His name “I AM”. He is I AM! He is our rescuer. Yet we sometimes believe the lie that He only rescued us from hell by dying on the cross. One and done. He longs to rescue us every single day from temptation, fear, and the lie as old as the Garden… “did God REALLY say….”. David puts it so beautifully in Psalm 18:19 “He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me”. Our heavenly Father DELIGHTS in us. There’s a lyric in Place of Freedom that says
I’m gonna sing my song
Like I am unashamed
I’m gonna shout for joy
At the mention of your name
I’ve come to worship
Creation proclaims the majesty of God. He’s given us a song to sing, completely unashamed. What terror that must bring to the gates of hell if God’s people believed that so deeply that they sang unashamed, proclaiming His goodness and faithfulness. We see glimpses in our life when we aren’t drug down with the stress and distraction of life. Even when we have our moments with God and He speaks truth to our souls, Satan is always around the corner with some version of “But did God REALLy say…” Weather we whisper or shout the name “Jesus”, he has to flea. When we fill our mind with His truth in scripture, we can say His name AND recall the TRUTH! We can’t trust our feelings and emotions. But we can trust in the name of the Lord our God! Sing boldly, my friends!!